Faith Temple

“Forever Together”

LISTENING

Listening is a vital key to true communication. I read a study once that stated that people usually hear only about 20 percent of what is actually said. I remember being in a workshop here at church and the instructor began reading a story to us. When he completed the story, he began asking us questions to see if we were able to recall the answers that were all included in the story he shared. It was amazing how little we actually heard and retained, and it was only moments before he questioned us that we heard the story.

I can’t help think that it is because of our listening technique that causes us to hear less than we should at times. I know that many times when my wife is speaking to me I am formulating my response long before she even finishes what she is talking about. By doing this we many times miss very important details and can many times respond incorrectly because of this.

Proverbs 18:13 NLT tells us 13”Spouting off before listening to the facts

is both shameful and foolish.

I can’t begin to tell you how many times I have done this very thing to my wife and the response has been inappropriate or completely wrong because I was too busy thinking of my response, to hear all that she was saying.

There are ways to improve our listening skills. First become an objective listener. We all want what we are saying to be heard so why not respect each other enough to pay close attention to what our spouse is saying. Don’t be so worried about defending yourselves or having an agenda in mind. Listening objectively means listening even when you don’t like what we’re hearing. We have a tendency to shut down and off when we don’t like what we hear. Be careful, you may need to change your thinking on the subject. But if you don’t hear out your spouse you may miss that opportunity and cut them off in your mind before you hear completely what they are saying. Then comes the wrong response and it’s off to the races in misunderstanding.

Effective listening means taking in important details. It may be helpful to remind yourself that you love this person you’re listening to. Let’s face it, sometimes we are taking a chance that our spouse will reject what we are saying. But when you respect your spouse for showing courage in sharing what is in their heart, you actively show your love for him or her. And Love never fails.

I pray that this year, as married couples. we will all take our listening skills of each other to another level. Remember a great marriage takes work, it doesn’t just happen.